Watch · Record
Sep 15, 2021
Behind the song
“The Curse & The Gift” is about understanding that some of the same experiences that damaged me also helped create the person I became.
As a kid, I was constantly singled out, made fun of and betrayed—even by people I considered friends. For years I didn’t stand up for myself, and eventually all of that turned into anger, distrust and isolation.
As I got older, those experiences followed me. They affected my relationships, the way I reacted to disrespect and the way I dealt with people. There are things I did because of that anger that I regret.
That’s the curse and the gift.
The pain gave me wounds I carried into adulthood, but it also gave me the drive, independence and determination that helped me become successful.
Some of the things that hurt me the most also helped build me.
From the Story
22 · THE CURSE AND THE GIFT
There was still something I had never really dealt with.
That classroom.
That teacher.
That kid standing in the middle of all those other kids.
Eventually I wrote about it.
Really wrote about it.
Story chapter
Lyrics & wordplay
Verse 1
according to some test i took im highly narcissistic
you could ask my friends if that is true if they existed
i been delusional since 5th grade when ms. Him would
put me in the middle of the room to have my friends diss me
i know that sounds awful bro and it was
imagine 30 kids taking turn making fun
a literal circle around my chair once a month
my teacher instructed every kid just to say one thing
they dont like but yall my friends during lunch
why when we back in class you gotta switch up
that bitch teacher even had a board she put up
and would give a star to any kid just as long as
they would snitch on me
so even if i cursed during recess
whoever heard it first used to speed past
cuz a star then was like a g pass
my teacher isolated me from the rest of the class
no friends so i couldnt trust a single soul
homies one second but an hour later no
she used to walk behind me making of fun of how i walk
and it was all my friends laughing so i couldnt talk
imagine being betrayed every fucking single day
by the ones close to you while they saying its ok
ya niggas really took turns shitting on a 10 year old Mycul
fast forward 20 years and wonder why im psycho
im trying
Verse 2
2 years straight, 30 class mates
verses one and its funny cuz at the end of the day
some kids would apologize but never could change
my teacher kathleen used to force them to say
one thing that they hate about a child
i used to cry sitting in the middle couldnt smile
but i wont lie out of 30 kids, there was always one
that would say this is wrong and he always stood up
****** ******
how he had the courage to say that was unheard of
we was only 10 or 11 but sure enough
the heart he had inside was divine nigga word up
i used to look my friends in the eyes while they spuing all these lies
round and round one by one during lunch we was fine
so i stopped being cool but still wouldnt defend myself
2 year straight took a strain on my mental health
but it was too late cuz after she was fired
i had space to breathe started realizing how tired
and ashamed that i was for never standing up for myself not once
nigga not once!
mid 7th grade this bitch teacher came back to visit me like wait
shes infatuated great
but this time no mistakes
all i need is one take so i rushed wit a blade
people jumped in the way so she
turned and escaped, along with my future
along with every relationship i would ruin
i spit in bitches face once a week for amusement
i cant contain the anger cuz the rage is consuming
a good friend needed him some cake it was foolish
he took me for like 20 bucks wait, that was stupid
he aint know that was a mistake and how ruthless
i was till i beat him up that day and youtubed it
i still wish i didnt do it
but he beasts on people who do anything to em
mycul treats the people like they aint nothing to em
you know maybe hes just evil and really not a human
im hoping that you understand im trying
but the oceans forever open and im an island
all alone and forever floating toward the horizon
no control over my emotions so i be hidin
but inside i be dying
dont console me though being lonely done got me flying
all alone but im so above now and im climbing
floating further leaving a trail of bodies behind him
Continue the journey
